Flu shot thoughts

I’ve been thinking about the flu vaccine. Specifically, the priority group expanded a couple of weeks ago to include those with chronic lung disease such as asthma, meaning that I’m now allowed to go and get my dose.

Actually, I really should go and get a script for my inhalers because I’m not sure my Becotide has anything left in the canister and my Turbutaline expires next month. If I get sick, I’m really going to need those because this time there is nobody to get me to a hospital if I have a major attack and I know that I’ll feel daft for calling an ambulance.

Anyway, the important thing is that I’ve been thinking about the H1N1 vaccine. I know that I should get it. I know that it’s safe (enough people have been guinea pigs now to convince me that it’s as safe as the seasonal vaccine). I’m in the at risk group.

Problem is, I don’t feel like I deserve it yet. My asthma is relatively mild. I’ve only needed hospital treatment once with it. There are other people out there at far more risk than I am and they should get their shot ahead of me.

My immune system is crap, I know this, but it doesn’t actually make it any easier to put my head up and say “please, sir, can I have my shot?”. We’ve spent months being told we should get the shot but it’s important that the most vulnerable get it first. Maybe that’s why I now feel so conflicted.

During the course of writing this, I’ve actually taken the plunge and booked myself in to get the shot. It helps that I’m now hearing that clinics are empty and doses are being thrown away because people aren’t getting their shots. I still feel guilty for going, because my asthma is mild and there are people out there in much more need than me, but maybe I need to get over that feeling. After all, I know that I’ll get pretty sick if I get the flu and there are already two people in my department out sick with it.

Shouldn’t that be reason enough for me to feel OK about getting my shots? It may take a bit of persuading to get my emotional brain to meet up with my logical brain on this one.

TGIF!

Yesterday was the most stressed that I’ve felt since the run-up to the launch of the Massive Christmas Tracking Project in my old job. I don’t think I slept properly all week. There were a lot of wobbles through the day, times when I was trying to respond to five IM conversations at once and wanted to tell three people to go away, but thankfully it’s done and 85% of the Zombie Project went into production.

The other 15% is the bit that’s not done yet and we’re still trying to figure out how we can even make it work. None of the other stuff is dependent on it, though, so the deployment was unaffected.

We had a slight issue around security settings on a table that the DBA managed to fix this morning. One overnight processing job blew up this morning because an index had not been setup on a new materialised view, which was easily fixed by smiling nicely at the DBA.

So, the stuff is actually there on our production server. Sadly, most of it has not been tested yet so we don’t know whether it’s going to blow up yet. The business analyst for the project is sick and my boss is working from home so that she doesn’t infect us with her lurgy, so the testing will not happen until Monday at earliest.

I’m already feeling a bit more relaxed, though. After a day from hell I went out last night with my knit group and a night of food, laughter and knitting helped a lot. Hopefully I can catch up with some sleep over the weekend and feel much more able to cope with everything next week. I enjoy my job a lot, but I wish that I wasn’t quite so much of a perfectionist because a lot of my stress was pressure that I had put on myself. It always feels like the success (or not) of a project reflects a lot on my professionalism and I want to be bloody good at my job. Finding the middle ground between caring about how well I do my job and getting crazy obssessed by it is something I fail at totally.

Due to all the extra time that I put in yesterday, I’m leaving an hour early today. I shall probably be hitting the Gap for a new pair of casual trousers and then possibly slumping in Starbucks for a while with hot chocolate. Then I’m conflicted.

On the one hand, I could buy some grociers and then order pizza when I get home so that I don’t need to cook.

Or I could get some takeout from my favourite sushi place, except I really want some tempura based things with it and that doesn’t transport well because my house is so far from everywhere.

Or I could eat my sushi at the restaurant and pick up groceries on the way home, except I’d be eating alone.

Or I could do what I usually do when faced with these options, which is to feel guilty about not wanting to cook and therefore buy my groceries, go home and eat toast because I have no energy to cook. Hey, at least I prepared the toast myself!

Another fiasco in the making

In yet another example of my IT department’s ability to communicate, there is controversy over the department Christmas outing. One of the managers decided that it would be a great idea to hire an entire screen at the local cinema so that we could all bring our families for a private showing of the new Christmas Carol movie. This idea was discussed at the team meeting for my team last week and we all firmly stated that this wasn’t what we wanted to do and that none of us would actually be going.

Co-worker L toddled off to state our position to our manager. He apparently nodded and agreed that it might not be a good plan.

Thus, today, we received an email inviting us to the IT Christmas event…a private showing of A Christmas Carol. Signed by all the managers, including ours.

Gah.

Just to make it even better, the entire event (and the wording makes this clear) is aimed at families with children. Not exactly inclusive to those of us who have chosen not to spawn or who are not yet parents. Nor is it great for those with older children who have flown the nest.

The final nail in the coffin is that our manager’s budget has been put into this, leaving nothing for an alternative event, and none of my team will be going. We’ll still be doing something – probably going out for a nice lunch – but we’ll be picking up the tab ourselves. Unlike last year, when our manager’s budget was used to buy us a rather nice meal at a very nice restaurant one evening and we all got to be grown-ups and enjoy each other’s company.

I am perfectly fine with my decision not to have children and most of the time it isn’t a problem. Then there are things like this where I am made to feel like an excluded, second-class citizen because I don’t have children and it makes me angry.

I do understand that we’re trying to do more things as a department, rather than splitting into our little teams for everything, but that really only works when joint activities have half a chance of being enjoyable for the majority. Probably less than a quarter of the department have children under 10 and the only adult in my team that wants to see this movie has already seen it with his girlfriend. The only person in my team with kids under 10 has them in activities that are ramping up for Christmas displays so she can’t pull them out for a Saturday morning (yes, Saturday morning!) event like this.

On the one hand, I’m glad that I’ve got a bridal shower to use as an excuse not to go (rather than having to confess my hatred for Jim Carey to my manager). OTOH, I’m pretty peeved that my team’s budget will be going to support an event that none of us will actually be attending and we’ll be having to fork out for our own thing instead.

Experimental Monday: Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni

I haven’t blogged the last couple of experimental Mondays – I went on a bit of a soup binge and I can report that roasted sweet potato soup is yummy. Last week I was feeling totally uninspired and cooked easy, familiar comfort food.

But fear not! During the week I got a craving for cannelloni and did a bit of Googling for recipes. I’m trying to cut down on my meat intake (twice a week is plenty, I think) so spinach and ricotta was the obvious choice. I suspected that just mixing some spinach with ricotta wasn’t going to work and I was right. I ended up using the filling from one recipe, the construction/cooking principle from a couple of others and substituting homemade tomato sauce with store bought pasta sauce.

It was so good. Really, so good. Must write it up so that I have for the next time. I divided the cannelloni and sauce between one glass dish and three foil dishes. Topped the glass dish with a bit of cheese and baked it, the three foil dishes have been covered and put into the freezer. So I now have three portions of home cooked yumminess for another day. Yay!

With all the cheese, I suspect that it’s not the lowest calorie thing ever but I thoroughly enjoyed it and it’s wonderful comfort food while tasting nicely fresh from the spinach. Plus, it’s vegetarian!

Now I must go and cuddle a cat. Annie is rather determined that I need to pay her lots of attention and give her lots of cuddles pronto. Pushy little annoyance

There are good reasons why I nearly cried at work today

Today has been a Bad Day.

My back has been hurting a fair bit for the last couple of weeks and I’ve been waking up a lot through the night, finding myself lying flat on my back which only makes it worse. I’m suspecting that part of the reason for my back being so sore and stiff when I first get up is the sleep position issue. Last night I tried sleeping with a cushion to prop me a bit and another to cuddle-ish and it seemed to work. Or at least, I slept pretty well and wasn’t lying on my back or front when I woke up! And wasn’t *quite* as stiff as I’d been other mornings.

Unfortunately, shortly after work I started to get really bad stomach cramps and nausea, which didn’t make me feel amazing and my back then kicked in. Yay. Took several hours with herbal tea, heat pads and anti-spasmodics to get it under control and quell the urge to just double over and wish for death.

In the middle of this, we discovered a big issue with the project that I’m working on. That wouldn’t have normally got me massively upset, but the project is suppose to go for release on Thursday and the issue could mean that I miss my release. It’s that size of issue.

Plus, I haven’t got the first clue how to fix it because it was one of the few bits of the software that actually appeared to be working correctly. It’s all about which code gets assigned to data for which dates (yes, it’s a load for some huge, complicated database tables) and it’s wrong for some data. Gah.

We discovered this and my boss announced that it needed fixing just as I was feeling particularly ill. I didn’t take it well.

And that is why I nearly ended up in tears at work today.

Thankfully my stomach is settled and feeling fine now. So fine that I’ve got a huge craving for fish and chips or possibly sushi, but I’m playing it safe and having baked salmon with steamed veg instead. My back is…um…yes. And although I’m home, I’ll be spending the evening working because a whole bunch of data needs to be re-loaded for validation first thing tomorrow morning.

Really, this week can stop sucking. I’m serious. Why is food my first thought when things are going badly?

Yuck

Dear body,

I want a divorce.

No love,

AG

Good and bad day

The good: the code for the project that I’ve been working on for nearly two months finally worked properly today. The data still needs to be validated, but this is the first time that it’s run through (twice!) without issues and produced data that looks good on a cursory inspection.

The bad: OMG, indigestion. And bloating. And can we say gas? Plus, did I mention the indigestion? There might also have been a touch of acid reflux in with that.

Hello there, IBS. You’re trying to persuade me that I need to carry Tums with me at all times, aren’t you?

I was so glad to get home. And stuff myself with Tums. And at least be able be gassy, crampy and ick in the privacy of my own bathroom.

For extra fun and laughs, I’m going to be stuck in a minivan (people carrier for the UKers) for several hours tomorrow while I go to Moncton and back for a potentially pointless meeting. Yay? If my GI tract does a repeat of this, my co-workers will hate me by the end of the day.

Worst part? We’ve just had to do our ‘employee engagement’ survey and one of the questions was about whether we get indigestion/gas/bloating/cramps/constipa

tion etc. In other words, have you got IBS? And, heh, are we to blame? Not said in those exact words, but the implication was clear.

Some days, my body sucks piggy wonks. Now I’m going to watch Holby City and try to forget about this entirely pointless exercise in management BS. Instead I shall focus all my good vibes on getting home in time tomorrow to join my knitters in the bar and eat yummy food.

Agatha Christie binge

I’m on an Agatha Christie kick. One might even call it a binge. I blame it all on netgirl_y2k, who mentioned The Body in the Library in a recent post and got me thinking Christie-ish thoughts.

I’m currently on my fourth Christie in three weeks. My sister enabled it by presenting me with four more (that I’ve never read!) from a second hand bookstore as a thank you for putting her up for a few days. I don’t see myself emerging from the Christie kick any time soon. After all, I have twelve in my own collection (er, sixteen) and I’m sure the public library can help as well. This is also the reason that my sister and I watched The Unicorn and the Wasp on Monday. Doctor Who and Agatha? Bring it on!

One of the amusing parts was that the book that the Doctor showed at the end, Death in the Clouds, was the Poirot that I had just finished. Heh.

I think that after work on Friday, I’ll take myself down to Chapters. There I shall spend some time browsing the cook books before buying some hot chocolate and spending a pleasant time reading Christie and drinking cocoa. It’s supposed to rain on Friday, which makes the plan even better. Sitting inside a bookshop drinking hot chocolate while it’s raining outside makes me very happy.

Then I’ll buy groceries and treat myself to sushi takeout. It’s entirely possible that I’ll follow that up with two episodes of Grey’s Anatomy (having not watched last week’s episode) and call it a thoroughly lovely evening.

Damn, when did I get boring?

Alternative expressions of creativity

It appears that my current main obsessions are cooking and knitting. It keeps surprising me because a few years ago I’d never have thought that I’d end up loving such domestic, home-making things. I’m not an artist, I never will be, but I consider myself to be creative and it appears that these crafts are the outlets I’ve found for that.

Anyway, my new sweater is progressing apace. I’ve finish the back of the shrug section and joined to start knitting the arm in the round. Gave it a quick try last night and, despite my misgivings, it appears that the fit is just right so far. Even better, the Cashsoft felt amazing against my skin so I should end up with a sweater than doesn’t itch me. Hooray!

It’s October, which means that winter is fall is here and winter will be on top of me before I know it. Last winter I found acquiring good fruit and veg and issue. Although that has largely been resolved by the farmer’s market and Pete’s, I’m still starting to conclude that my current breakfast of grapes, granola and plain yoghurt is not sustainable. The grapes that I picked up this week are flavourless and I can’t imagine that they’ll get better as the winter goes on. Plus, they’re not exactly eating local and sustainable!

So what can I do for breakfast that’s healthy and nutritious? I’m thinking that I need to look into breakfast muffins – homemade, of course – so on Friday I’ll make a trip to the bookstore to have a look for a suitable recipe book. I want things that aren’t too sweet and are preferably filled with fruit, nuts, bran and other healthy things. The kind of thing that I can heat up in the microwave and enjoy with a glass of milk, possibly accompanied by a small bowl of granola-and-yoghurt, and feel warmed and comforted for the day. They’ll need to be good for freezing, so that I can make batches and defrost a few at a time, and having a variety of recipes to try would be great.

Yup, I need a new recipe book. I may also look for a soup book. I really fancy making soup. My biggest regret right now is that I didn’t steal my mum’s copy of the Covent Garden soup book when I visited in February. She said I could because she never uses it!

I’m going to end up with so many recipe books at the rate that I’m going

Yarn, Thanksgiving and roast potatoes

I have just enjoyed a Thanksgiving weekend with my sister. It was pure accident. She booked her flights, told me the dates and I squeed as I realised that she’d unwittingly booked to be with me over the long weekend so I’d get the Monday off work to spend with her without worrying about vacation time. Hooray!

I picked her up from the airport after work on Thursday and dragged her along to my knitting group, where we ate pasta and chatted away happily. She’s knitting a beautiful pair of mittens. Er, I got teased because my sister is as insane as me with the whole ‘knitting primarily with skinny yarn’ thing. Heh.

She spent Friday hanging out at the house, relaxing and resting from her time in Toronto while I went to work. Then we went out for sushi for supper, which was amazing, and she introduced me to grilled eel maki which I absolutely love. Wonder whether it’s totally indulgent to get some sushi takeout this Friday on the way home from the grocery store?

Saturday started out bright and early with a trip to the farmer’s market followed by a drive down to Mahone Bay. We did lots of walking, bought lots of yarn (love having a knitter sister) and ate some amazing Schezchaun (sp?) carrot soup from the Biscuit Eater Cafe and Bookshop. Possibly the best part of the rather wonderful soup were the cheese and herb biscuits which were hot and fresh and divine. Between the soup, the biscuits and the chocolate espresso shortcakes, we didn’t need supper that night! We had to make a quick stop at the mall on the way home (bathroom break) and I spotted the Rowan Greatest Knits book in Chapters. Hmm. I’m in two minds, largely because while some of the older patterns are fun, the patterns I love are from Rowan 42 which I already have. So it requires thought and possibly a revisit before I decide on whether to add it to my wishlist.

Sunday was a slightly quieter day. I made French toast for breakfast and then we toddled up to the mall for a quick visit to Gap before going to the beach for a long walk. Bliss. We relaxed for the rest of the afternoon with our knitting and some TV before going out for seafood supper and then a visit with my aunt.

Monday was Thanksgiving and we spent the day relaxing, watching movies and knitting so that I could be on top of my game for cooking the big supper. This is the first time that I’ve done a major event meal and also the first time that I’ve done roast potatoes. Yes, it was the potatoes that had me panicked and declaring it as my Experimental Monday dish. Thankfully my recipe (trusty Comfort Food to the rescue again) was clear and concise, enabling me to produce tatties that were crispy and nicely browned on the outside and fluffy on the inside. No raw bits, no sogginess, and I’m very proud. My aunt supplied stuffing and I cooked salmon, due to my sister’s non-meat-eating status. It all worked out perfectly, with all the food cooked at just the right time and lots of yummy noises at the table. Phew!

My sister goes home tonight and I’m going to miss her. We’ve had a lovely few days together and it’s been so much fun to just hang out and knatter. We seem to get along better and have more in common as we get older, which is fabulous.

Knitting-wise, I finished my lovely purple shawl (I’m wearing it right now – the office is slightly chilly) and cast on for my Tubey sweater. The yarn that was coming surface mail and I wasn’t expecting to see for months arrived on Friday – yippee! I’m most of the way across the back of the shrug section already (almost finished the second ball) so it’s going swimmingly. I swatched and discovered that I had to go down a needle size so apart from the usual “OMG, will this fit?” worries I’m feeling cautiously optimistic. In fact, I’m even daring myself to have it ready in time for my Christmas trip to England. I’m insane, right?